Grab The Milk Mama Lactation Cookbook HERE
Try Needed's Immune Support for 20% off HERE using the code “mama20”
I wanted to talk about something today that we don’t talk about very much in the wellness space and that’s when exercising less is actually the better choice. I know that sounds crazy, especially coming from someone who is a certified perinatal personal trainer, health coach, and active mama, but believe it or not there are times in life when choosing not to exercise or just exercising less frequently is going to improve your health more than the alternative.
And I want to talk about this because you probably won’t hear it from the fitness influencer on Instagram or even your doctor. In fact, most people are going to convince you that more movement is always better. But I am living proof that that is not always the case and I do have some pretty sound reasoning behind why, too.
This episode is going to be short and sweet today, so let’s dive right in!
Something I want to remind you of is that boundaries are an expression of love, respect, and confidence. Boundaries describe what we are going to do in a situation and they are put in place to protect our physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
One boundary that I’ve had to really work on over the years is learning to say no. I grew up a people-pleaser and felt like it was my duty, obligation, and responsibility to always say yes. Like if someone had enough courage or foresight to ask me to do something or be somewhere, then it must be important, right? And they wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t?
Well, that could be true, but something that is also true is that I can’t be everything for everyone all the time. Two other things that can also be true at the same time are that I can respect the other person’s opinion of me and my capabilities while also acknowledging my limitations. Saying no to something doesn’t mean I don’t care or that I don’t value my relationship with that person or that I don’t want to be helpful.
Saying no allows me to show up as my best self as much as possible while also preserving my relationship with the other party. For example, I might say no to a girl’s night out at two weeks postpartum because I want to prioritize rest and time with baby. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about my friends or that I don’t want to spend time with them, it just means that there is something more important at the moment and to preserve my relationship with them as best as possible, I’m going to take a rain check.
So how does this apply to our relationship with exercise? First I want to point out that it is a relationship, just like you have relationships with people or with food. That immediately helps us recognize that the same things that foster a healthy relationship with people help foster a healthy relationship with exercise. Think things like consistency, vulnerability, dedication, sacrifice, and boundaries.
Hopefully, you develop a relationship with exercise that is not built on fear or punishment or obligation but love, admiration, and gratitude. Movement should be something that you do for yourself because you value your health, you want to be proactive instead of reactive about your health, and it makes you feel good no matter how you look on the outside.
(If that’s not the case quite yet, that’s ok, just know that that’s the end goal and it’s a much better place to be than where you might be right now.)
But anyway, just like in healthy relationships, sometimes you’re going to say no out of respect for yourself and your desire to preserve your relationship with that person in the best way possible. Saying no to exercise sometimes can and should be part of your relationship with exercise.
On the flip side, imagine if you never said no to a friend or family member. You would probably develop resentment towards them, feel like they have no respect for you or your time, and that eventually they’re going to take advantage of you or manipulate you to doing more than you already do.
With exercise, if you never say no, the same thing will happen: you’ll develop resentment towards it, you’ll feel like a slave to your workouts, and you’re going to end up doing more than you can sometimes. And that’s not good, right?
My point in all of this is that saying no is the healthier choice sometimes. Does this mean that we don’t care about our bodies, that we’re lazy, or that we don’t value consistency? Absolutely not. In fact, it means that we respect our bodies so much that we want to honor times of rest and we see that those times of rest help us be more consistent over a long period of time.
So now you’re thinking: well okay, but when are these times you’re talking about?
I want to remind you that at the end of the day, it is not my job to tell you when you should and shouldn’t exercise. Only you can make that decision for yourself. However, I have some suggestions that, based on science and personal experience, I think are good opportunities to say no.
Some of these times might be:
Something I should’ve mentioned earlier is that when I’m talking about exercise or workouts in this specific episode, I’m talking about higher intensity exercise where the goal is to push your body, burn lots of calories, and/or build muscle. I’m talking about things like running, weight training, pilates, swimming, biking, or playing sports. These types of workouts are the ones I would say no to or minimize during those times that I mentioned.
Does this mean you can’t do anything during those times? Nope! Because we don’t do all or nothing as a well nourished mama. I would still make space for gentle movement that keeps your body going in a low-impact, low-stress way like walking, yoga, breathing and meditation, or housework like vacuuming. Those types of activities are still beneficial for you even when you’re sick, but only if you feel up to it.
So now you’re probably wondering “well how am I supposed to know if exercise is going to be helpful or not?”
Again, there isn’t a cut and dry answer for this. It totally depends on you, your body, and what’s going on in your life. However, I can also give some guidance and personal examples of when and how I decided to pull back on my regular exercise routines.
I think the hardest scenario to navigate is being tired. As moms, I’m pretty sure our default state is tired, right? It takes years for our kids to sleep through the night consistently, and usually when one starts to, you’ve brought another baby home and you start all over again. We’re also going going going all day long, and we’ve got a huge mental load to manage, too.
Some people say you shouldn’t workout if you didn’t sleep well because sleep is what allows your body to recover from exercise and if you’re not sleeping well, you can’t recover from your exercise and your body is already worn out before you’ve even started the workout.
Okay that’s probably true but if that were truly the case, you and I wouldn’t get to workout until we were done having kids and the youngest was 10. And we both know that we can’t wait until we’re sleeping soundly to exercise or we’re never going to exercise.
So where’s the line? Well, here’s what I do. I check in with myself and ask myself a few questions:
This last question is how I’ve specifically handled exercise during the first trimester of each pregnancy. Most of the time, my answer is “if I exercised today, I would be on the couch the rest of the day and my kids would be watching TV all day.” Sometimes, though, even though I was tired and out of routine, I felt like I had 20 or 30 minutes in me to do something like a lighter weight training session or some bodyweight stuff. Or even taking my kids on a long walk.
And my second postpartum journey has been so different from the last 5 years of my life. It’s actually what inspired this episode! For the last 10 months, I’ve been more inconsistent and exercised less than I have since I was a missionary more than 7 years ago.
Part of the reason is because I had a baby, but I also had my second hernia surgery at 3 months postpartum, my husband was deployed for nearly 4 months, I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding the entire time, my business is growing quickly, and my anxiety has been at an all time high, so my body hasn’t felt safe for a while. My actual workouts have happened once, maybe twice a week, but I’ve still maintained walking and lighter movement most days, and really dialed in my nutrition and sleep.
And guess what? I lost all the baby weight, I kept most of my muscle, most of my sanity, and my sleep was actually the best I’ve had in years even though my sweet baby girl needed me multiple times a night.
And, on top of that, when I got all my bloodwork done back in June of this year (mind you I checked over 30 biomarkers and had 7 different panels done), every single biomarker came back perfectly in range. Like, not conventional medicine ranges, but functional medicine ranges. I literally couldn’t believe it.
This was such a testament to me that while, yes, there are so many benefits to consistent and intentional exercise that pushes your body, sometimes less is more. And in this very specific time of my life, this was true. I was able to not only feel pretty good but actually prove through bloodwork that less was more.
Am I itching to get back to my weight training, running, and cardio? Absolutely. Am I putting pressure on myself to do that right now? Nope. I know that by prioritizing my nutrition, sleep, and daily movement (rather than exercise), I will be just fine. Will I be as lean and muscular and “in shape” as I normally am? No, but that’s ok for now.
One more quick reminder before we wrap up: this episode is not meant to convince you that you don’t need exercise in your life to be healthy. This episode is here to give you some breathing room for those brief times in your life when your body needs a break and will actually benefit from a break rather than pushing through.
Just like a computer overheats and needs to cool down and just like our babies need naps to be functional and pleasant throughout the day, we need breaks too. Intentional, productive rest is so powerful and not talked about enough. Choosing to make time for rest will give you the endurance to carry on your healthy exercise relationship in the long term, even though the short term might look a little different.
So today I’m inviting you to have the courage to rest. Maybe it’s scheduling one or two rest days in your workout routine if you don’t do that now. Maybe it’s accepting that your first trimester of pregnancy isn’t going to include a lot of exercise at all and that’s ok. You and baby will still be fine. Maybe it’s realizing that with your work schedule and your kids’ schedules, you don’t have time for 5 60-minute workouts each week but you can do 5 30-minute workouts.
Health is not about all or nothing. It’s about all or something. While your consistency with the type or frequency of your workouts might vary from time to time, hopefully you’re still being consistent with prioritizing your health and making intentional decisions each day that are mindful of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being as a whole.
Alright mama, that’s it for today. I’ll see you next week.
Leave a review